Now does thinking about your family tree make you eyes roll, thinking of all the dynamics of your family, I totally get that to, being a child of a separated family with additional marriages in them can create for an interesting family tree.
I am going to help you create your family tree in the easiest possible way so that this does not feel too overwhelming when you are asked to send in your family tree as a part of your application to adopt.
So, the first thing you will need to do is get a large piece of paper or open up a doc on your laptop.
Start with yourself – are you with a partner/spouse? Do you have children? Write down the dates of births for each of you
Now list your siblings, their partners and any children they may have. Write down the dates of births for each of them
Next list your parents – if they are separated/divorced and have remarries list them too. Write down the dates of births for each of them
If there are step siblings or children from their spouses list them to and write down the dates of births for each of them
Now list both sets of aunts and uncles. The easiest way to do this is to list your parent and their siblings so for your father this would be paternal family and for your mother this would be the maternal family if these siblings have partners and children list them to and if possible include their dates of births
And now for your grandparents, list their details and add any great aunts and uncles too, especially if you know them well and they feature in your life growing up. Write down their dates of births in known.
There may have been deaths that have occurred within your family so write down the dates of births and death when listing them in your lists.
You need to submit your own family tree
So you should have some lists that look like this
Us
Bernadette 08/05/1975, Graham 06/07/1971,
Miscarriage 14/09/1998, Sally 12/01/2004
Bernadette’s siblings
Emma 09/09/1978, Bert (husband) 06/09/1974, (Children) Arthur 02/01/2000, Martha 17/12/2002, Sheryl 22/02/2005
Graham’s siblings
Karen 03/03/1973, Daniel (husband) 05/05/1975 – no children
Heather 17/04/1975, Trebor (partner) 06/12/1975, (Children) Bella 02/02/2000, Derek 01/03/2004
Sally 24/12/1977, Sharon (partner) 05/06/1975 (Children – Sharons) Ivy 02/04/2005, Paul 31/10/2007, Harry 13/11/2009
Bernadette’s parents and aunt and uncle
Sheldon 04/09/1951, Amy 14/10/1958
Auntie Janet 07/07/1953 married to Uncle Paul 24/12/1951
Uncle Chris 31/01/1955 married to Auntie Ruth 10/10/1957
Graham’s parents only children
Leonard 04/04/1951 divorced Penny 2004
Penny 13/12/1953
Leonard married Emma (22/05/1960) July 2009 – no children together – Emma has two children James and John twins 27/08/1989
Bernadette’s Grandparents
Will 19/06/1930 Mary 29/10/1931
Graham’s Grandparents
Paulette 26/06/1932 David 25/03/1931
I appreciate this sounds like a long process however as a social worker I find these list so helpful, I usually complete a family tree for my prospective adopters based on the lists they give me.
I will then go through it with them to check I have the correct spelling of names, dates of births and dates of death.
I usually ask for this very early on, the reason for this is as the conversations start developing you will be talking about members of your family and this really helps as a reference point to know who you are talking about and how they are connected to you.
I am aware some people have their family trees already completed, maybe this is something someone in your family has already done, if this is the case that is great news for you.
Although family tree’s can go make many years for the purpose of the adoption process you can go back up to as many generations as the people who feature in your story.
For example, you may have spent summer holidays with your great aunt Martha who is no longer alive but is a feature of your life story. Add them all in because these are important people to you story and can help the social worker get a much better picture of your personal history too.
Want to know more about family trees then feel free to get in contact.
Sending you my best wishes
Your Adoption Mentor Liz