I am sure you will already be aware from the Information Sessions that there is an expectation that you will make yourselves available for the child by being at home for the first 12 months – essentially not working during that time.
I appreciate this can seem like a long time especially if you are adopting a little one who is already in nursery of school, surely you can work during those times?
I wanted to explore this with you so that you are aware of the what ifs and how to manage them whilst being available without the pressure of returning to work.
Some children settle in really quickly and well and there may be an opportunity to do some work time in those last few months/weeks of adoption leave however I have also experienced children who have not settled and needed a lot of time to connect with their adopters and spending time together, getting to know each other and transitioning into nursery and school really slowly to ensure they are settled before you return to work.
No one has a crystal ball and therefore will not be able to advise when the little one will be ready for you to return to work so you almost have to plan for several outcomes and how this can be managed for you and your little one to minimise some of the stress and anxiety.
Although twelve months of adoption leave sounds like a long time, I wanted to share with you that there is a lot of time in those early weeks taken up with the transition and early placement where the social workers will still be visiting and calling and meetings taking place so that occupies many of those early weeks of your adoption leave before you really settle in with your little one.
Over those twelve months you will be spending time getting to know each other, build connections and bonds with each other and for your little one to know that you are available for them at all times and to account for any potential delays or challenges which may require you to be at home with them for a little longer.
Then there are all those introductions to your extended family and friends, all wanting to be a part of your child’s life as well, again although taking up time this can also be overwhelming for you both and therefore may take part of many weeks so you can space out the visits.
Maybe at this moment in time, as you are reading this blog you may still be thinking twelve months still sounds like quite a long time to have away from work. But when you take into account all the above that time is soon gone and you will be planning the next step in your journeys such as childcare, returning to work.
During these twelve months you may also be wanting to formulise your adoption, wanting to formally adopt your little one, this will entail you applying for an adoption order from court, this brings more social work assessments for you and your little one for the social workers to present to court, again this taking up some of that time within your adoption leave.
Adoption Leave can at times be a really busy time for new parents so ensure you factor in some together time and that there are times for relaxation and support when needed.
Take the time you need to enjoy your adoption leave, sharing these precious times with your little one and being able to focus on them settling, connecting with each other and enjoying your family and friends enjoying life with your little one.
Sending you my best wishes
Your Adoption Mentor Liz